When Inspiration Is Slow to Arrive...Ask For Help.

I've been having a hard time writing blog posts lately. There's a lot to share about what's been going on around me, truly blog-worthy things. But for the past 4 weeks, I've sat at the computer and couldn't seem to start to find the right words. I wasn't sick exactly but I didn't feel well either...I wasn't feeling much of anything...I felt "off center". I couldn't find the inspiration to share through blog writing some thoughts and/or news about my business, or to work on some new things that I've spent days researching online and still haven't begun or worse still...cleaning the studio. Boy, is it past due for a good scrub down. My DNA is everywhere and, as you can imagine since I work mostly with glass, it isn't pretty.

I've learned the word "inspiration" actually means "in spirit". When I discovered that was the basis for the word, I knew it was time to do some searching within to try to find out why I was having some trouble writing and creating in the studio. And cleaning it because it's such a mess...don't even get me started...

It seems I was ready for a psychic "boost", for want of a better word and I was having a bit of a struggle finding the way to get the engines running again. Gosh I love metaphors.

Anyway, when I get so busy that I can't share the news, I'm not doing what I wanted to do by starting the blog in the first place. I wanted it to be something that people could find the link for flickr so that they could go check out my latest mosaics, share the latest online catalog for the workshops I do or links of friends and their work and lastly, share any updates that happen on my website. Basically, things that are all a part of my daily life. But instead, I sat and stared at the blinking cursor as if mocking me as it blinked saying: "think, think, think". And so, I went within. I pulled out my favorite business how-to books to read through and of course my favorite mosaic books to help me feel that pull towards the studio again. But it wasn't enough. I needed to work on going a lot deeper.

The best way I can do that is to meditate. I won't bore you with what I use to get to the quiet place within myself but I will tell you that when I feel the need to become centered, I find some favorite meditations that I've used for close to 20 years to help me. However, this time and once before a mere 7 months ago, they didn't seem to do it. It was time to find some reinforcements!! About the time I had that thought, I got the perfect email in my online mailbox which directed me to the perfect thing I needed to get me to the next level in my personal growth using meditation. There are no accidents. Spending a few days working on my inner self and giving myself time to relax, reflect and recharge was exactly what I needed.

During times when I work on mosaics that are quite intricate and am so very focused on getting them finished when I said they would be to meet my own personal deadline (within the past month or so I've done a few like that), I am also very busy networking and marketing my business, setting up appointments to meet with the bank, making phone calls concerning some financial things relating to moving in June and expanding my business, getting ready to start a new workshop April 22nd and April 29th at Mt Airy Learning Tree (there are a few spaces left for the class...if you live in the area and would like to take a beginners class, go online and register!---oops look at that...I shared info about the online catalog with you...I must be starting to feeling better...), doing an Open House at a local school where I taught the first class ever this past February to share what I teach and hope some people will take the classes offered in the fall, making small mosaics including jewelry to transport to a "porch sitting" with my cousin during a festival next weekend (we're setting up a few tables and putting out things for sale that we made instead of being a part of the juried festival activities. I'm not quite ready for that just yet but sitting on a porch and talking to people along the way to and from the festival downtown sounds like great fun and if they buy something while they are there chatting, that's awesome!) and thinking whatever isn't listed on etsy.com yet and doesn't sell will go on the store website which means taking a slew of photos of everything made (I know that will take days to do and it's exhausting weeding through all the photos to get 5 good ones of each item, but so worth it!), visiting my wonderful Father who has offered to make some frames for me, always finds treasures for my mosaics and generally enjoys spending some time with his daughter, sharing moments of family joy with my daughters and grandson all of whom are the best reason to be so happy and content with my life, I've found I just can't think after a certain point about anything. I go into overload and just don't have the energy to do much else. This goes on for quite a while inside my head until I know it's time to step back, take a deep breath in and exhale. Thank goodness for clarity.

Once the fog cleared I discovered that I've gotten exactly what I wanted in a very short amount of time. Enlightenment has just about arrived with a big "D'OH" and a slap 'long side my head. It's not that I'm un-inspired at all...I'm just busy!  Whoa...how'd that happen?!

All kidding aside, the truth is, I can say as humbly and as sincerely as I can that I believe in myself and I now know what it feels like when you know what you were born to do. To find your "purpose" as they call it. This schedule happened because I decided that I wanted to work hard at something I truly love with all my heart every day no matter what in December 2009 and I always stayed positive about the next step and trusting it all, and enjoying the process of being aware of what it feels like to truly be here...in the moment as often as I can.

I have been so busy trying to find a ways to further work on finding the next stage which has guided me here to this wonderful life where I am now, I discovered I already knew it but forgot. What's great about rediscovering something (especially when you are over fifty) is that it seems like it's the first time you've learned about it. I did know that everything comes to you when you need it. I just forgot. Actually, I didn't realize that I had found what I was looking for because until I changed my thoughts and made positive changes, I didn't realize I also changed my life. It just sort of happened to me while I was busy living my perfect life.

Amazingly, the Universe heard me. I got what I asked for, much quicker than I anticipated. I never imagined I'd be here in merely 4 months since I've taken my business full time. I started off strong and want to remain strong, so I must continue to work for it and ask for guidance when I need it from all of the places where I find it. Which means, for me, meditating.

This awareness crept up on me and I do think that's the way it's supposed to be for me. I'm supposed to do this slowly. This coming into the knowing isn't a quick fix after all. It takes a long time. I'm not finished with my inner work, I know I still have a lot to do. Also I know, that it's not truly enlightenment if you share it with people in a blog. That's something you just know about yourself and keep to yourself. No need to share it if it's real and what you need in your life. It is supposed to be a personal journey. I'll work on that and you won't know it when I have gotten it right because I can't share it when it happens. Unless you ask, of course.

I love my life at this very moment which is probably the greatest thing to feel about it. I'm so very blessed, not just because I love what I do, but because I have family and friends who are supportive and nurture the artist part of me that has just been discovered. My passion is so real for creating mosaics that they understand and accept it when I have nothing much else to talk about. They indulge me because they love me. That makes me love them all even more than I already do! What a gift I've been given! I am definitely feeling loved and full of life!


So now, I can say with utmost sincerity and feeling ... "check out what I created and sold last week":

"Valerie's Private Beach" was created using images of Cancun and a variety of beach and palm tree photos all over the internet. It was my high school friend, Valerie, who suggested I try to make something with those things. When I showed her a picture of it while working on it, she wanted it before the stained glass was filled in around the water and sky. This was created on a discarded microwave plate.

I can also share a comment like this one: "look what's coming up soon" (find the catalog for my workshop here):

http://www.mtairylearningtree.org/

And even this thought...after looking at some of the wonderful mosaics that others have made for me in my home, I can ask you to: "check out this person's art...their mosaics are awesome" (Gypsy...you rock!!):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/stjohnsgypsy/sets

Oh and if you have time, check out my website at: earthmothermosaics.com take a look around and say hi.

Well, what do you know? All of the above has made it "normal" blog type stuff after all. I'm back, baby!!! The good thing about this particular blog entry however, is that this is an enlightened one, naturally. An inspired one, certainly. A post written from the heart with love, definitely.

And finally, when I do move in June, I'll start the search for an assistant to help me with my busy life because I now know I don't have to do it all myself! D'oh! I can ask for help and will find it when I'm supposed to if it keeps me less cluttered in my head (and my studio) and allows me to do what I love! Cue angels singing and clouds parting to show a great beam of light coming from that cloud and a strong arm coming through it and smacking me playfully on the side of my head. Silly me...I knew it...I just forgot...I just have to ASK!

Thoughts For Each Day: Try to find something that inspires you. It will change your life. Trust me.

☼-EarthMotherMosaics~Cindy White